It's hard to believe it's been a whole year since we lost Judah. December 23rd will always be engraved on our hearts and minds as a really difficult day.
It seems like only a few months ago that we were in the hospital and praying for a miracle for Judah to go full term and arrive as a healthy baby boy, but it's been an entire year. As we got closer to this date, it's something I really couldn't wrap my mind around. But here we are, one year later and still finding it a very sad and painful memory.
I didn't even know if I was going to write today because I feel as though there's nothing more to add to what I've already written. The post on Judah's due date, May 6, still pretty much sums up where we are. Still wondering why, but still resting that only God knows and God works things out for our good and His glory.
Judah would've been almost 8 months old by now and sometimes I think through things we would be doing together now as a family, his personality and what he would've looked like...
And I'm reminded again that life usually won't go the way we imagine and there are so many things that are out of our control. But this is where faith steps in... trusting in a God who loves us unconditionally and knows our grief. "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." (Hebrews 6:19)
As we are just a few days away from Christmas, I can't help but think about the reason for our hope and faith. God sent his only Son Jesus to be born into the world, to live a perfect life and to die a painful death by taking all of our wrongs, guilt and shame on himself so that we can be free and live in hope. We accept this way of redemption by faith alone. We trust God's ultimate plan of salvation knowing that He loves us and wants the best for us.
It takes faith, and it starts with us accepting that Christmas is about God's gift of hope and a peace-filled life that he offers to us through Jesus. It won't necessarily be an easy life, as we've personally experienced with losing Judah, but it will be the most fulfilling life trusting in God's goodness, love and the hope he gives.
It's really amazing how quickly a year can go by... and before we know it, our lives will be passing just as quickly. And even though I wasn't sure what to write today, I guess I would wrap it up by saying this:
Life is precious, life is short. Don't waste time by living life in fear, trapped in never ending battles and without hope. This Christmas, think about God's gift of love: Jesus.
Thank you all for your continued support. We hope you all have a Merry Christmas.
Love,
The Coyles
